Control is the way we split ourselves in two. A part of me this and a part of me that. It is trying and trying separates us even more from our real selves. No wonder we are susceptible to varying degrees of panic attacks from living as two rather than one.
David prayed in Psalm 86:11 to heal of the two-faced hypocricy that the desire to control creates in us.
Self-control is the mark of a Christ follower and comes from surrender once trying ceases.
I wrote a poem that I'm reminded of as I write this about what surrender can bring while we still struggle with surprises.
A Sane Imagination, A New Creation
A sane imagination, a new creation.
Tempered action from shattered expectations.
Perservering, conscience no longer searing.
Courageous without domineering.
Silently, while speaking,
praying and seeking,
listening without freaking,
stillness, door creaking.
Who entered into my room
without permission so soon?
My heart? Don't bother!